Social Media
Friends on Facebook: Dos and Don’ts
Being “friends” with your teenagers on Facebook does not necessarily give you the right to do anything and everything you want on it. Remember that Facebook is public and anyone on the Internet, including your teenagers’ friends, can see everything displayed on both you and your child’s profiles. So, here are some dos and don’ts that you should abide by if you have added your teenagers as “Friends” on Facebook.
Dos
- DO monitor what your teenage children upload on Facebook.
As much as they think they know everything, many teenagers may not be aware of the dangers of posting too much information online. Photographs, personal particulars, status updates or even comments can potentially put them in vulnerable positions. Highlight these concerns to your child before it is too late.
- DO use Facebook to document your family.
As we become increasingly busier with work and school, it is easy for anyone of us to forget about our family relationships, traditions and moments. Therefore, Facebook serves as a platform that allows you and your teenagers to easily keep track and remind each other of all these precious family memories as you post such updates. (But isn’t it risky to share family information?)
- DO be mindful of your own Facebook activities.
Being your teenager’s friend in Facebook means that they are able to see your activities online- including what you share, like or post online. For example, posting vulgarities on your status updates or liking pages that are only suitable for adults (e.g. fan page for an adult magazine) are not things that you want your teenagers to be exposed to.
- DO use Facebook as a platform for family bonding.
Since your teenagers spend a lot of time on Facebook, why not turn it into an opportunity for yourselves to do some family bonding with them? There are a number of games that you and your teenagers can have some friendly competitions and interaction on. This will also give both of you common topics to talk about.
Don’ts
- DON’T use Facebook as a platform for parenting.
While it is important to voice your concerns about their online posts, you should never use Facebook as a medium to parent your child. Teenagers are self-conscious. Their profiles are viewed by their Facebook friends, and parenting them on site may invite teasing and could hurt their self-esteem. So, be sensitive.
- DON’T upload embarrassing photographs of your teenagers on Facebook.
Yes, Facebook is a great place for you to post and share funny and adorable family photographs, but, be sure that it is not one that will humiliate your teenager. A picture of your teenager being potty-trained when young is probably something they do not want their peers to see. If you really want to upload them, respect your teenagers by asking permission first. Be aware that photos are difficult to retract once posted or shared online, so think twice when posting.
- DON’T make your teenagers’ Facebook friends your Facebook friends.
If you find yourself adding your teenager’s Facebook friends in the hopes of keeping an eye on your child’s social circle, you are probably overstepping boundaries. This may suggest that you are a strange or domineering parent, therefore, only add friends that you know well or have checked with your teenagers.
- DON’T stalk your teenagers on Facebook.
Image Source: http://lifestyle.inquirer.net/100297/are-you-spying-on-your-kids-on-facebook/
Monitoring your teenagers on Facebook is fine, but over-monitoring and criticising every detail may backfire. There will be times when you feel uncomfortable with what you see but give your teenagers space to grow and learn. Intervene only in dangerous situations.
While your teenagers may not unfriend you, they can move on to another social media platform to “avoid” parents or caring adults. Exercise caution while interacting with your teenagers on Facebook. Bear in mind the principles of mutual respect and build parent-child relationship offline as well.
